Ever wonder when you “sponsor a child” if that child really exists?  Really benefits from your donation?  JJ and I were lucky enough to find out personally.  Our first outing in Rwanda, was to the World Vision office in Nyarutovu.  My friend Lesley and her 2 children Grace and Liam traveled with us and this would be Lesley’s second time meeting the children she sponsors.  Quite impressively her little church sponsors hundreds of children in this one little village.

JJ and our sponsored child Ancille

I wasn’t sure what to expect on our arrival, as I’m sure the children we were meeting weren’t sure either.  The outpost of WorldVision services families as many as 30 miles away from the local office.  In fact most of the families we met this day had walked several miles just to meet us, to say it was humbling would be an understatement.  When we arrived the children were gathered looking both tense and excited in what were most likely their best clothes yet still heartbreakingly tattered.

We shared no common language, there was no way to understand each other still JJ and Ancille managed to quickly bond.  All of the children gathered around us and sang and danced a fabulous song.  I have no idea what it was, we tried to return the favor and sing for them and were seriously embarrassed to realize we couldn’t even remember the second verse of “Jesus Loves Me”, thankfully they didn’t seem to notice.  We  brought bags and bags of clothes, toys and gifts for not only our children but their extended families as well.  What brought us to tears was that some of the parents had brought gifts for us.  Though they live without electricity or running water, they were thoughtful enough to bring gifts.  There aren’t words for how we felt.

The day before we came to visit we spent the day shopping in the local market.  We realized we had brought western style clothes for the mothers of our sponsored children yet all of the women wore traditional african styled fabrics.  We thought it would be a more thoughtful gift to provide each mom with several yards of cloth that they could do with as they wished.  The trip to the market was a lesson in local customs.

Though I asked each person before I took their photo, there were a few people who didn’t appreciate my snapping pictures, am not sure if they felt I was being a voyeur or if they thought I was rude.

Sweet baby

Luckily this sweet woman with her baby on her back (wish I could still carry my babies like that) defended me.  At least I think she did, they left me alone.  I always feel it’s so important to ask before photographing people, especially when it includes their children.  It’s important to me to treat each person with dignity when choosing to take their photo.  Later in our trip it became my “magic trick” that helped me to bond with mothers and children alike.  So few of them have access to photos of themselves (or often even mirrors) they truly relish seeing their image.  I was overwhelmed with requests to take their photo once they trusted me and I was again humbled by the opportunity to connect even in this small way.

Interestingly the hardest part of visiting our children wasn’t trying to communicate with them or the inevitable feelings of guilt at the lifestyle we are able to live and how little we feel we might be doing for others.

Outside looking in

The most difficult part was watching those who weren’t sponsored, or invited, watching our party over the wall with it’s crude security measures.

Rwanda, not exactly a luxury destination, but the most fabulous trip I’ve taken in a long time. For each of my children’s 10th birthdays I take them on a mommy & me trip. It’s more for me than them, am hoping they don’t get wise to me.  For my oldest daughter’s trip, she chose Paris, we bought shoes and ate chocolate. When it came time for my next child to choose his destination the ideal trip presented itself to us.  We have been supporters of Partners in Health for years, in fact my son has been accompanying me to their annual meetings for the last 2 years. When the opportunity came up to visit PIH and tour the medical center that we helped to build, he jumped at the opportunity.

I was shocked at how many of our well educated and well traveled friends were stunned that I would take a 9 year old child to Rwanda. The country does live in our collective memories as a place of horrors, and rightly so. However modern Rwanda is actually quite safe and is a fascinating place to visit. Unlike many other economically disadvantaged countries I’ve visited I never felt harassed or preyed upon in Kigali (the capital) or in any of the villages. Only once did a child announce “you give me some money”, I think it was the only english he knew (besides, “how old are you?” which I was asked repeatedly…and never answered). I’m not sure he wanted money as much as he just wanted to test out his english, and if someone gave him some cash, all the better.
Getting to Rwanda was easier than I thought it would be. We flew directly to Brussels from New York, as Rwanda was a Belgian Colony, many inbound flights originate from there. Ironically, the Brussels/Rwanda leg of the flight on Brussels Air was much more luxurious than the NY/Brussels leg on American Airlines. Hot food, comfortable seats and well dressed flight attendants speaking French, it didn’t really feel as if we were headed to a war torn african country.  We were lucky to have some inside help from Partners in Health in arranging a car and driver.  Our driver it turns out had been in the army and took amazing care of us.  Did we need him for safety?  No.  Did I feel better having a driver who knew the area and was looking out for us?  Yes.  We met many cute American girls living in Rwanda working for various NGO’s and charities, they all used public transportation and felt perfectly safe.

Over the next few weeks I’ll recount our trip, including some guest blogging by my son, he recounts it as a “life changing experience”.  Which is adorable, given that he’s just now turning 10, how much changing could his life have needed?

As my 9 year old and I prepared for a week long trip to Rwanda I can’t count how many times I was met with shock, awe and often stunned surprise that I would take my child to what many considered a dangerous country.

It’s true that Rwanda lives in our collective memory as a place of horrors and not much has been said of late to change anyone’s mind.  Time and again intelligent and well traveled friends would counsel me against my trip or at the very least caution me to be “on guard” (whatever that means).  I suppose the government of Rwanda has more important matters to attend to than the public relations spin on travel to their country.

Our trip was to be some parts mission, some parts research and just a little bit of fun (yes, I said fun in Rwanda).  We have supported Partners in Health, an organization that has been building medical centers in some of the poorest countries, and planned to visit a health center that we had been a part of funding.  We traveled with my friend Lesley and her two children, ages 9 and 11.  We had also arranged to visit World Vision and meet the children that we had been sponsoring through their organization.  Lastly, Rwanda still has a fabulous game preserve and we were hopeful that we might see some great African wildlife.

While I wasn’t worried about our safety in Rwanda, it’s currently one of the safest African countries to travel to, a few friends did make some arguments that gave me pause.  One friend in particular was worried that I would be exposing my son to a level of poverty and human misery that would be more than he could comprehend.  Another pointed out that a group of blonde, white people might make excellent targets for kidnappers (that’s Mexico, and another story).  We were lucky enough to have our travel organized by Partners in Health and had hired a professional driver who would be with us any time we were out of the hotel.  Do I think this is necessary?  Absolutely not.  Did it make me feel better?  Absolutely yes.

Getting to Rwanda is easier than you might think.  Most flights connect through Brussels, after learning that Rwanda had been a Belgian colony, this made more sense.  In one of the many ironic twists on our trip, the flight from Brussels to Rwanda was far more luxurious than our flight from New York to Brussels.  There are also a few somewhat “westernized” hotels in Kigali (the capital city of Rwanda).  No, I haven’t seen Hotel Rwanda and am not sure I’ll ever be up to it.  The Serena Hotel is the most luxurious, however locals take a dim view of westerners who come to “help” and stay in such nice digs.  I heard a few unkind comments about the venerable preacher Rick Warren whose group has come to Rwanda many times, it doesn’t seem to the people like they’ve done much, and they always stay at the Serena.

There is a new property just developed by the Chinese that includes a casino, also frowned upon, and I’m told the construction was suspect.  We stayed at the LAICO Umubano hotel, formerly known as the Novotel.  It reminded me of the many motel vacations we took as a child.  While the remote controls weren’t bolted to the night stands, I can only assume it was due to lack of bolts.  The hotel does boast a pool and clay tennis courts, it also has a lovely restaurant, a patisserie and available wi-fi.  I was told that all hotel transactions were made in cash so I was packing enough Franklins to make me nervous.  They do take credit cards, so the cash came in handy at the markets. Basket anyone?

Over the next few weeks I’ll be posting about our visit with our World Vision children, our trip to Partners in Health medical centers and our “safari”.