Mama means it

Four children, two dogs, one mom and a fourteen hour drive.  I should have known it wouldn’t be all kumbaya and slug bug.  Blinded by the thought of saving thousands of dollars in airfare (future shoe purchases need funding from somewhere) and the silly idea that a road trip would be “fun”, we hit the road.

Good reasons to drive instead of fly:

1.  You want your own car.  In our case we don’t fit in any car other than a Suburban.  Rental agents never seem to understand that a mini-van is NOT the same.  It may fit the same number of butts, but it does not hold the same amount of luggage.  We were forced to rent a second mini-van in France just to carry our luggage.

2.  You want to save $$$.  This trip would have cost $2,400 in airfare, add $1,200 for a rental car and suddenly a few tanks of gas and mom’s sanity seem cheap.

3.  You want your children to talk to you.  Be warned there will also be yelling, screaming and a few bodily threats, but you will enjoy some great conversation.  Even a teenager can only be silent for so long before they start telling you all about that boy, that girl, that party.

It's all fun and games until a tiny dog gets shot

Don’t leave home without:

1.  My favorite road signs.  They are called “Schticks” and you can buy them at Amazon.  Other favorites include “Are you drunk?” and “Get off the road”  They are useful when communicating with other drivers, they are also highly self entertaining.

2.  SNACKS.  There is nothing worse than pulling in to a nasty roadside store to buy Slim-Jims because the kids are going to die if they don’t eat NOW.

3.  Entertainment, for you and the kids.  I don’t recommend handheld video games, mostly because they always make my children vomit, fair warning.  We tried listening to “The Hobbitt” on CD on this trip, it made everyone in the car sleepy, including the driver, oops.  On the road trip home we’re going to try  Tales2Go they have a huge library of children’s stories that stream through your iPod or iPhone.

4.  Your sense of humor.  Some of our favorite family stories come from road trips, the vomit stories, the potty on the side of the road stories, the weird things you only see on the road stories:

Oompa Loompa camper?

Pimp my bus

Macie and Sydney at Times Square

For this year’s BlogHer my web designer Karin and I decided to bring our daughters with us to New York City.  They think we’re just here to shop and stay in a fancy hotel.  It wouldn’t be a Luxury Travel Mom trip if it didn’t involve a little shoe happiness and some turn down service, but we have an ulterior motive.  This is our version of “bring your daughter’s to work” day (or weekend).  It’s hard to explain that blogging really is more than just playing on the computer.  It’s not like Facebook, there’s no Farmville, but the other bloggers really are my friends.  Most importantly it is real work.  Just because we don’t get paid, doesn’t mean it’s not work.  Sort of like motherhood.

Our grand adventure has so far been fabulous.  Spending time in New York City always makes me wonder why I don’t do it more often.  Then I fell asleep in the front row of “Lion King” and I remembered, it’s because I’m tired, really tired.  So today I let my friend take the girls on an NBC tour while I explored The Waldorf  Astoria Towers.

My sweet husband booked us at the Towers, I had never been, not sure why, I love The Ritz, The Plaza and The St. Regis, why try someone new?  Checking in was a debacle as Joe Biden was checking out and they shut down the block so his motorcade could leave.  Right then I decided I love this hotel, I’m that easily swayed by celebrity.   The Towers is “hotel within a hotel”, with a private entrance and separate staff.  While waiting for my room to be ready I thought I would “research” the Guerlain Spa.  They greet each guest with champagne, an excellent way to start any new relationship.  While I was chatting about my stressful trip in to the city (I hit a Knish cart, the Biden motorcade, blah, blah)  the cloudy skies parted and they mentioned that the person who was supposed to be getting a 90 minute massage right then had cancelled, did I want the spot?  I swear I heard the angels singing.

I’ve tried my share of spas, but I’ve never paid this much, and felt it was worth every penny.  Fair warning, a 90 min. massage is $400 (gratuity included).  Did I mention I fell asleep at Lion King and hadn’t sat still since I got back from Haiti.  Yes, I’m using my trip to Haiti to justify my overpriced massage, I’m only slightly ashamed.  Each treatment room includes a private bathroom complete with shower.  No public disrobing and showering, I like that.  But wait, it gets better.  Once in your robe, with champagne in hand, they give you a foot bath with this crazy drop away floor underneath a cozy couch.  The luxury is CRAZY, and I’m so happy.

Foot bath of happiness

While at the spa, the front desk called, my room was ready, and they had upgraded me to a Luxury Suite.  Seriously, I didn’t even ask, or give them my card.  This place is just that nice, which is obviously why Joe Biden stays here.  They probably upgraded him too.  The suite is huge, it’s a little tired (like me), but I love the comfort.  I’m less enamored by the fancy new hotels than I am by the Grande Dames and by coddling service.  Compared with the price of say The Plaza or The Ritz, The Waldorf Towers are surprisingly affordable (in a relative sense).  A suite comes with complimentary breakfast, free access to the spa and fitness center but you still have to pay for wi-fi.  I guess you can’t have it all.

So tomorrow we’re going to see if we were crazy to bring our daughters to BlogHer.  I find the whole event altogether overwhelming.  So many people, so many cards, so many parties I didn’t know I was supposed to rsvp for.  I’m excited to share it with my great friend and our daughters.  We thought we were planning a trip the girls would never forget, I’m pretty sure we’ve planned a trip we’ll never forget.

Am pretty sure tomorrow’s post won’t include massages, but I didn’t think today’s would include and encounter with the veep and my hit and run on the Knish cart, that’s what I love about NYC, you never know what will happen.

Ok fellow addicts (you know who you are) I have a new dealer for you.  Travel shows. What you say?  I thought those were for professionals?  Me too, one of the reasons I keep pretending to be professional.  I just spent a blissful day at the NY Times Travel Show and was surprised to find myself surrounded my like minded travel fanatics all getting high from the smell of crepes and the sound of mariachi music.

Pauline and Arthur Frommer with little old me!!!

Why you should go: You’ll find information on places you’ve never thought of going, Galapagos Islands?  Curacao anyone?  NY had over 500 destinations, cruises, tours, adventures and travel services represented.  You could win free trips.  They have nutella crepes (ok, maybe not all of them, but NYC did, and it made my day).   They have great seminars and amazing speakers, I met my travel heroes Arthur and Pauline Frommer.

If exclusive deals, the ability to book a trip on the spot (thank you Amex) aren’t enough…how about some cute cowboys from Mexico?

Hola Caballeros

I hope they didn’t feel objectified by my middle aged ogling, actually a little bit of mexican beefcake just might lure me down south for our next get away!

So check out the next travel show in your area and even if you can’t really get away, you can pretend for the day.

Ever wonder when you “sponsor a child” if that child really exists?  Really benefits from your donation?  JJ and I were lucky enough to find out personally.  Our first outing in Rwanda, was to the World Vision office in Nyarutovu.  My friend Lesley and her 2 children Grace and Liam traveled with us and this would be Lesley’s second time meeting the children she sponsors.  Quite impressively her little church sponsors hundreds of children in this one little village.

JJ and our sponsored child Ancille

I wasn’t sure what to expect on our arrival, as I’m sure the children we were meeting weren’t sure either.  The outpost of WorldVision services families as many as 30 miles away from the local office.  In fact most of the families we met this day had walked several miles just to meet us, to say it was humbling would be an understatement.  When we arrived the children were gathered looking both tense and excited in what were most likely their best clothes yet still heartbreakingly tattered.

We shared no common language, there was no way to understand each other still JJ and Ancille managed to quickly bond.  All of the children gathered around us and sang and danced a fabulous song.  I have no idea what it was, we tried to return the favor and sing for them and were seriously embarrassed to realize we couldn’t even remember the second verse of “Jesus Loves Me”, thankfully they didn’t seem to notice.  We  brought bags and bags of clothes, toys and gifts for not only our children but their extended families as well.  What brought us to tears was that some of the parents had brought gifts for us.  Though they live without electricity or running water, they were thoughtful enough to bring gifts.  There aren’t words for how we felt.

The day before we came to visit we spent the day shopping in the local market.  We realized we had brought western style clothes for the mothers of our sponsored children yet all of the women wore traditional african styled fabrics.  We thought it would be a more thoughtful gift to provide each mom with several yards of cloth that they could do with as they wished.  The trip to the market was a lesson in local customs.

Though I asked each person before I took their photo, there were a few people who didn’t appreciate my snapping pictures, am not sure if they felt I was being a voyeur or if they thought I was rude.

Sweet baby

Luckily this sweet woman with her baby on her back (wish I could still carry my babies like that) defended me.  At least I think she did, they left me alone.  I always feel it’s so important to ask before photographing people, especially when it includes their children.  It’s important to me to treat each person with dignity when choosing to take their photo.  Later in our trip it became my “magic trick” that helped me to bond with mothers and children alike.  So few of them have access to photos of themselves (or often even mirrors) they truly relish seeing their image.  I was overwhelmed with requests to take their photo once they trusted me and I was again humbled by the opportunity to connect even in this small way.

Interestingly the hardest part of visiting our children wasn’t trying to communicate with them or the inevitable feelings of guilt at the lifestyle we are able to live and how little we feel we might be doing for others.

Outside looking in

The most difficult part was watching those who weren’t sponsored, or invited, watching our party over the wall with it’s crude security measures.

Rwanda, not exactly a luxury destination, but the most fabulous trip I’ve taken in a long time. For each of my children’s 10th birthdays I take them on a mommy & me trip. It’s more for me than them, am hoping they don’t get wise to me.  For my oldest daughter’s trip, she chose Paris, we bought shoes and ate chocolate. When it came time for my next child to choose his destination the ideal trip presented itself to us.  We have been supporters of Partners in Health for years, in fact my son has been accompanying me to their annual meetings for the last 2 years. When the opportunity came up to visit PIH and tour the medical center that we helped to build, he jumped at the opportunity.

I was shocked at how many of our well educated and well traveled friends were stunned that I would take a 9 year old child to Rwanda. The country does live in our collective memories as a place of horrors, and rightly so. However modern Rwanda is actually quite safe and is a fascinating place to visit. Unlike many other economically disadvantaged countries I’ve visited I never felt harassed or preyed upon in Kigali (the capital) or in any of the villages. Only once did a child announce “you give me some money”, I think it was the only english he knew (besides, “how old are you?” which I was asked repeatedly…and never answered). I’m not sure he wanted money as much as he just wanted to test out his english, and if someone gave him some cash, all the better.
Getting to Rwanda was easier than I thought it would be. We flew directly to Brussels from New York, as Rwanda was a Belgian Colony, many inbound flights originate from there. Ironically, the Brussels/Rwanda leg of the flight on Brussels Air was much more luxurious than the NY/Brussels leg on American Airlines. Hot food, comfortable seats and well dressed flight attendants speaking French, it didn’t really feel as if we were headed to a war torn african country.  We were lucky to have some inside help from Partners in Health in arranging a car and driver.  Our driver it turns out had been in the army and took amazing care of us.  Did we need him for safety?  No.  Did I feel better having a driver who knew the area and was looking out for us?  Yes.  We met many cute American girls living in Rwanda working for various NGO’s and charities, they all used public transportation and felt perfectly safe.

Over the next few weeks I’ll recount our trip, including some guest blogging by my son, he recounts it as a “life changing experience”.  Which is adorable, given that he’s just now turning 10, how much changing could his life have needed?

As my 9 year old and I prepared for a week long trip to Rwanda I can’t count how many times I was met with shock, awe and often stunned surprise that I would take my child to what many considered a dangerous country.

It’s true that Rwanda lives in our collective memory as a place of horrors and not much has been said of late to change anyone’s mind.  Time and again intelligent and well traveled friends would counsel me against my trip or at the very least caution me to be “on guard” (whatever that means).  I suppose the government of Rwanda has more important matters to attend to than the public relations spin on travel to their country.

Our trip was to be some parts mission, some parts research and just a little bit of fun (yes, I said fun in Rwanda).  We have supported Partners in Health, an organization that has been building medical centers in some of the poorest countries, and planned to visit a health center that we had been a part of funding.  We traveled with my friend Lesley and her two children, ages 9 and 11.  We had also arranged to visit World Vision and meet the children that we had been sponsoring through their organization.  Lastly, Rwanda still has a fabulous game preserve and we were hopeful that we might see some great African wildlife.

While I wasn’t worried about our safety in Rwanda, it’s currently one of the safest African countries to travel to, a few friends did make some arguments that gave me pause.  One friend in particular was worried that I would be exposing my son to a level of poverty and human misery that would be more than he could comprehend.  Another pointed out that a group of blonde, white people might make excellent targets for kidnappers (that’s Mexico, and another story).  We were lucky enough to have our travel organized by Partners in Health and had hired a professional driver who would be with us any time we were out of the hotel.  Do I think this is necessary?  Absolutely not.  Did it make me feel better?  Absolutely yes.

Getting to Rwanda is easier than you might think.  Most flights connect through Brussels, after learning that Rwanda had been a Belgian colony, this made more sense.  In one of the many ironic twists on our trip, the flight from Brussels to Rwanda was far more luxurious than our flight from New York to Brussels.  There are also a few somewhat “westernized” hotels in Kigali (the capital city of Rwanda).  No, I haven’t seen Hotel Rwanda and am not sure I’ll ever be up to it.  The Serena Hotel is the most luxurious, however locals take a dim view of westerners who come to “help” and stay in such nice digs.  I heard a few unkind comments about the venerable preacher Rick Warren whose group has come to Rwanda many times, it doesn’t seem to the people like they’ve done much, and they always stay at the Serena.

There is a new property just developed by the Chinese that includes a casino, also frowned upon, and I’m told the construction was suspect.  We stayed at the LAICO Umubano hotel, formerly known as the Novotel.  It reminded me of the many motel vacations we took as a child.  While the remote controls weren’t bolted to the night stands, I can only assume it was due to lack of bolts.  The hotel does boast a pool and clay tennis courts, it also has a lovely restaurant, a patisserie and available wi-fi.  I was told that all hotel transactions were made in cash so I was packing enough Franklins to make me nervous.  They do take credit cards, so the cash came in handy at the markets. Basket anyone?

Over the next few weeks I’ll be posting about our visit with our World Vision children, our trip to Partners in Health medical centers and our “safari”.

The holidays are upon us (according to WalMart and their jingly commercials) and I’ve been pondering what I’d like for Christmas this year.  I’m sure it will come as no surprise that all I want is a first class ticket somewhere, anywhere.  Since that is likely not going to appear in my stocking, I’ve been thinking about what I need to make a coach seat feel like a first class ticket to ride.  I’m leaving for Rwanda on Friday and unless my upgrade clears (not likely) I will be flying for roughly 24 hours in a cramped, miserable coach seat.  I know, I’m a whiner, but red-eyes in the back of the bus are miserable, and no one can deny that.

So, I have my eye on some fab items I saw on www.Magellans.com.  They come highly recommended by my favorite travel writer Wendy Perrin.  They look so appealing in fact that I’m considering treating myself to an early Christmas present.  Wendy swears by the self-inflating seat cushion.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve lost feeling in my nether regions more than once on a long flight.  This magical cushion supposedly makes you feel as if you’ve “flown on a cloud of air”.  My booty could use that.  The other downside to non-first class flying (one of many actually) is the nasty neck crick I always seem to get from trying to sleep sitting up.  Magellan also has the Inflatable Komfort Kollar (what’s with all the k’s?), anyhow, though it looks as if it is meant to be used by a whiplash victim, again Wendy swears by it.  Having spent enough flights with my head twisted in unnatural positions in a useless attempt at restful sleep, I’ll give the hospital looking collar (kollar?) a go.

Last but not least, I freeze on every flight.  First class or no, the plane is always too cold.  While trying not to fantasize about fully flat beds, free airplane socks and complimentary noise control headphones, I’m deciding between a Snuggie blanket (and my pride), just kidding, I have no pride, and the “Cabin Cuddler” from Magellan’s.

In addition to having been recommended by Wendy, who writes for Conde’ Nast and has done her fair share of travel, the “Komfort Kollar” has been positively reviewed by The Wall Street Journal (and who can’t trust them?).  So I think I’ll treat myself to a little early holiday cheer in the hopes of arriving in Rwanda in any condition to get something done.  Don’t feel like I’ve already bought myself everything you might  be considering gifting me, I could still use a first class ticket…somewhere…anywhere.

Costs less than an adult, but you have to ask, more than once

A little bit of obnoxious wisdom gleaned  from my small children just saved me $600, who knew they could be so useful?  We all know that kids have figured out that they can generally get what they want by continuing to ask the same question of mom, dad, babysitter, grandma, big sister, mom again, grandma again until finally someone just gives them what they want.  While this might be annoying, I’ve found it a brilliant lesson in persistence.

I’ve been busy making plans to take my 9 year old son to Rwanda.  Yes, it’s a long story, it’s a post I’m working on, just go with me.  Rwanda is not exactly a highly traveled destination.  JetBlue doesn’t go there, actually, almost no one does.  If you are flying from the US or Europe you get there by way of Belgium (Rwanda used to be a Belgian colony, french is the native tongue actually).